Reflections of a former work-a-holic

This is the second week of 2025. While 2023 was an epic year for me, 2024 was difficult, primarily due to my health. It’s been four months since my last blog “All the Things” and emotionally I have been in an anxiety-riddled funk since then.

I started the year with a one-hour yoga exercise that focused on Mind, Body and Soul. This practice began with leaving negative events in 2024 and identifying one focus for 2025. My 2025 focus will be Health. Health of Mind, Body and Soul.

In reflecting on my most recent mood and on 2024, I realized that part of what made 2023 so great was all of the positive changes I was making. I ended 2023 motivated and energetic. I had just left an extraordinarily stressful environment, I accomplished my 50x50 state goal, I launched my own freelance writing business, Purposefully Worded, and was healing from a major surgery. All things to be excited about. At the same time, I was beginning a new life and didn’t entirely know what to expect. Unfortunately, I did not expect the health issues that came with 2024. It was a hard year, with one blow after another, migraines a daily event, but I made it through each.

In looking back on 2024 and forward to 2025, my goal is to shift my mindset to positive. I’m practicing daily yoga which helps with my mental health, as well as my neck and migraines. I am breathing and reading a book on releasing judgment. I am trying to avoid toxic people, conversations and environments.

I will not lie. It is hard. One funny observation is by trying to not judge, you notice how others judge, which in itself is a judgement. Haha but I digress. While I continue to try to focus on the positive, my dreams are still consumed with anxiety. For several years, I have an almost nightly dream of trying to run in heels, not because I am being chased but because I am expected to be somewhere or do something. This dream occurs in a hotel/corporate office building in which I cannot find my way out and I am in a maze of rooms, escalators and exits. I am packing luggage but people come behind me and unpack the bags and complicate the journey. What does this mean?

Last year I blogged a lot about the shift from high stress, non-stop working to freelance and living life. One year later, I find it to be a difficult transition still. I don’t know what I had expected. My former life moved so fast that I never had time to stop and breathe. Now all I do is breathe (literally given daily yoga haha). Why are we trained to think that working all the time is a medal of honor? Why can I not psychologically get past this feeling of loss? Loss of something that was so toxic and unhealthy? Why do I still dream about it?

I was in NYC for the first time in a long time last month for my son’s 18th!! birthday. He chose to spend time with me visiting all the locations from the movie Elf. We spent some time on the bleachers in Times Square and talked. Later he commented about how much calmer I am. More present.

When I turned 50 last year, I had just been blessed with a major health scare that made me stop and reflect. Yes, it was a blessing because it caused me to change how I live. However, for some reason I thought my transition would be like flipping a switch. What I have since realized is that this will be a journey. A journey to re-adjust 30 adult years of expectations I put on myself that continue to penetrate my dreams.  And there is one of the lessons I have learned more recently – these are expectations I created. My work should never have defined me. Yet it did and unfortunately it continues to do so in the deep corners of my mind.

What is the point of this blog? I’m not sure. Last year when I started to blog, I chose to do so with no framework or structure. I wanted it to be an outlet for me and I also wanted to share lessons I’ve learned so people do not make my mistakes or at least so they stop to pause and think about how and if they should course correct before it's too late. So, I guess that is the point. What journey are you on? How often do you stop and reflect on how you are caring for you? How are you caring for the health of your mind, body and soul?

Oh, and by the way, there is no such thing as a “former” work-a-holic. It's more about how to apply that energy differently.

And on a final note, I realized part of my loss and what I miss is the human connections. So reach out - I would love to hear from you if you’re reading this 😊 karlie@purposefullyworded.com